melancholy
2003-12-02 at 4:19 p.m.
recently i realize tt my mother is the one person tt i never want to lose...she means everything to me & knowing tt she's leaving this friday really makes me sad..i feel so empty..like even tho there's a lot to look forward to,i feel as if i'm dreading every second tts gonna pass by...i wish friday wud nv come..i wish my mom didnt had to go..yes i noe she'll b back...but 1 month without her was painful enough and now we're gonna be separated for 7 mths at least....she's the only person who ever genuinely loved me...understands me,tolerates me...I dont feel my dad luvs me as much as she does..sure he does care for me but he's not 100%..unlike my mom..there's no limit to de things she did & sacrificed for me...i'll sure miss her jokes & the way we would watch tv & laugh or diss together...she's my mother,my best friend & i love her so fucking much.I'll miss her cooking..miss the way she sumtimes teases Yan when he sends me home..basically just miss her presence..yeah,for 7 long months.
So i was at Causeway Point & i saw dis Pooh plush toy & immediately thought of her..i noe she likes Winnie the Pooh so i bought it for her..kinda like a going-away gift..somethin she wud haf to help her think of me when she's over there...i pasted our neoprint on de card..and again i cried.sigh..Lene Marlin's songs doesnt help either.
Yan said its time for me to be independent..Sure i understand tt..but life without a person i love the most is just empty......and i wonder how i'm gonna cope at Cik Yah's house..
I guess the only way to cheer myself up is to think positively.We may be distances apart but she'll forever be in my heart.....Luv u ibu...